Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
