She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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