flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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