I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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