There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
