margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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