Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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