TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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