That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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