I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.