i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.