All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night