Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize