I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
