your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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