I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I understand Curling. That high.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My vagina is officially offended.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
