she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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