he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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