..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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