Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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