the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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