Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we're making bets on your personal life
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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