your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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