Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize