allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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