DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
