i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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