i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
