Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
