Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
