No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize