I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
