Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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