I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
