Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
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screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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