i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
