I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
