By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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