The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
