i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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