dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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