Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
