So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize