it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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