Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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