These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize