A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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