I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
