I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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