She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
