so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
