It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
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You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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