you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I die, sorry about rent.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
