whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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