I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize