I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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