Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
