Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
