where does the pee come out of this thing
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
