I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
