Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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